The season calls not for a blog, but a poem. Here is one I wrote several years ago that seems fitting for these times.
Night Demons
by Denise Moreland
During the day they lurk in the shadows
Driven to the edges by light, activity and conversation.
I may get a glimpse of them during a quiet moment
Which immediately vanishes as my focus shifts.
They leave me alone when I first go to bed.
Preparation routines, reflections of the day, nightly prayers
And sheer exhaustion overcome me with fatigue
Keeping them at bay for a few more hours.
Then it happens.
My partner shifts, the cat meows or the bathroom beckons
Awakening me abruptly.
And my night demons come alive.
They take over my mind
Churning my anxieties, fears, regrets and ideas
Over and over as I toss and I turn
And beg to be released.
Night demons are relentless
They are fed and grow bigger by darkness, stillness
And the ticking of the clock in another room
Which I never noticed was so loud.
As night turns into dawn night demons lose their power.
They begin to fade around four-thirty leaving me with a hope
Of getting one or two more good hours of sleep.
Just as I finally doze off the alarm rings.
Soon I forget about the demons that held me captive only hours ago.
I become focused with the demands of the day.
Once more I convince myself that what was so compelling in the dark
Is completely irrelevant in the light.
As I go about my life there are times when I wonder
Whether my night demons
Could be angels sent to guide me
Toward greater authenticity, wisdom and connection.
Perhaps my demons are not the thoughts and impulses
That possess me in the night
But the activities, obligations and responsibilities
That consume me in the day.
Denise Moreland 