Bossplaining

Building on the brilliant insight of the woman who coined the now-popular word, mansplaining, I offer a parallel concept, bossplaining. 

Bossplaining comes in many forms:

  • Annual Reviews
  • Employee Development Plans
  • Coaching
  • Performance Management
  • Feedback
  • Corrective Action Plans
  • Mentoring
  • Advice
  • …and the ever-popular “Teachable Moment”

All of these mechanisms provide the perfect opportunity for supervisors to bossplain what employees are supposed to do and how they are supposed to do it in a way that is both condescending and absurd. Bossplaining reinforces the superiority of the “superior” and the inferiority of the “subordinate.” It feeds the boss’s ego and demoralizes the people who work for him/her/them.

This is not to say that all of these feedback mechanisms are inherently condescending or even unnecessary. In and of themselves, they are neutral. The problem is that they generally are used only one-way—top-down. They assume the person advising is wiser, smarter and more knowledgeable than the receiver of the advice. Feedback that goes up the chain of command is often not welcomed, and is sometimes referred to by another name—“insubordination.”

Clearly, there is an art to offering advice, feedback and perspective based on experience, position, and even age, in a manner that is neither condescending nor absurd. There is also an art to listening to voices that are fresh, less tainted, more diverse, even younger.  It is called inclusive leadership.

For more radical ideas on leadership, check our my book, “Management Culture: Innovative & Bold Strategies to Engage Employees,” at mgmtculture.com or amazon.com.

Advertisements
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

“You’re Just Lucky to Have a Job!”

While there is an element of luck in getting a job–being in the right place at the right time–when people in positions of power say, “You’re just lucky to have a job!” they aren’t referring to luck at all. They are referring to the power they have over you.

Bosses have tremendous power over employees–the power to make their lives miserable and the power to fire them. Saying “You’re just lucky to have a job!” serves as a reminder that employees’ “luck” could change if they do anything to cross the boss.

Supervisors who wield this power as a threat over employees can force people to stay in line. However, it will be difficult for them to engage the imagination and commitment of the people they supervise. Forcing people to stay in line using threats may lead to compliance, but it will never lead to creative investment. Living with the constant threat if you raise concerns, make a mistake or question management, does not make for a particularly engaging workplace. One might say, employees who work for bosses who makes such statements are indeed unlucky.

Supervisors and managers who do not wield the threat of being fired, who welcome feedback and encourage risk-taking foster engagement, creativity and collaboration. They create environments where employees thrive, which results in higher quality work, increased productivity and healthier work cultures. One might say, employees who work in such an environment are indeed lucky.

If you manage people, consider the messages you send about luck. Do you threaten to change people’s “luck” if they don’t do as you wish, or do you strive to create a non-threatening, engaging environment, where there is a sense that people are lucky to be there?

If you are in a position of power, and you work hard to de-emphasize rather than wield that power; if you invite the people you manage to participate fully, even if it means making waves or making mistakes; you will feel lucky too! Happy and engaged employees will make you look good. Getting there just takes letting go of control, sharing power, and allowing people to bring all of their ideas and concerns into the conversation. It takes listening, supporting and accommodating people to do their best work.

Employees have so much more to give at work than most workplaces allow. Let’s welcome and encourage full participation. Let’s create workplaces where everyone feels lucky to be there!

For more radical ideas on how to create an engaging workplace, see my book, Management Culture” at mgmtculture.com or though amazon.com.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Sexual Harassment

All of the recent news stories about sexual harassment and exploitation of women in the workplace have been sickening and disturbing on so many levels. First, learning that the alleged behavior was so blatant and involved several high-profile people. Second, that it involved many women, spanned many years, and also was so recent (this is 2017—sometimes it feels we are going backwards!). Third, that the allegations cross many sectors and political divides. Fourth, and what I find most distressing, is that the alleged behavior required conspiracies of silence within well-known organizations. Apparently, many people knew what was going on, and even participated in it, but did not speak up. They were fearful or thought it was not their place to question.

What is heartening about all of this disheartening news is that the women who were abused and harassed had the courage to tell their stories. It is also heartening that they are being heard, and given support by the media, political leaders and Americans. Finally.

While we may be shocked by the allegations of sexual exploitation, we should not be surprised. The dynamics that allow abuse to occur exists in most hierarchical organizations. People at all levels with power over others often believe and act as though they “own” the talents, time and careers of their underlings. Many believe themselves to be superior beings to their subordinates, and will exploit their “resources” for their own gain. They believe that no one else has the right to interfere with their “style” of management. Further, everyone within a strict hierarchy is trained to “never question management” out of fear of being fired or retaliated against. These are the rules of the work game in so many organizations that allow people in power to abuse people with less power, and get away with it.

Abuse is an extreme version of the lesser indignities and frustrations both men and women feel every day under the crush of controlling hierarchical dynamics that give them no voice. To root out the abuse, we must root out the unequal power dynamics that allow it to exist. We must embrace principles of democracy—freedom, mutual responsibility, justice, transparency and checks and balances—in the workplace, just as we strive to apply these principles in our politics.

At the heart of democracy is a fundamental belief that all persons are equal—regardless of gender, race, national origin, religion, sexual identity or any other defining characteristic. Abuse and exploitation can only exist when perpetrators do not see their victims as their equals. Women are particularly vulnerable to abuse because they are not valued in the larger society as equals to men. We have made strides in equality but have a long way to go as a nation in terms of seeing and valuing women as equals to men.

For example, in another recent news story, a professional athlete was roundly criticized for thinking it was funny that a woman sports reporter would know about the intricacies of the game. The outrage about such blatant sexism from the sports media was encouraging. However, full equality within the sports world would go beyond granting respect to the women who cover men’s sports. It would extend as well to providing the same respect to women who actually play sports. Women are not just reporters, they are athletes and deserve the same respect, coverage and attention as men, though they seldom get it, even in the sports world that congratulates itself on calling out sexism in their ranks.

Let us continue our journey toward equality for all people, including women, to realize the great dream of American democracy where all are free of oppression, abuse and harassment.

For more radical ideas on how to transform workplace dynamics, see my book, Management Culture at mgmtculture.com or amazon.com.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

White Privilege

I recently had an insightful conversation at work with a white colleague. We had just attended a diversity training. Unlike me, who grew up in the suburbs, my colleague grew up “dirt poor” and does not know how to relate to the concept of “white privilege.”

My colleague worked very hard to create a prosperous life, which is a source of pride, imbedded in gratitude that we live in a country where hard work can move someone from “rags to riches.” This is America’s story of hope and promise to those who work hard.

Hard work, however, is only half the story. The other half is opportunity. Without opportunity, hard work does not lead to financial success, let alone, wealth. White privilege, as I understand it, is recognizing that the opportunity deck is stacked in favor of those who are classified as racially “white.” Those who are not considered “white” face a myriad of barriers that my colleague and I did not have to overcome.

I have come to understand my own “white privilege” by looking at the data and listening to people who have struggled against barriers because of the color of their skin. I have come to see the patterns that value white over non-white people in our social, economic, political and cultural systems and institutions, creating an unfair playing field, particularly for African Americans and American Indians. For so many years I did not see these dynamics because they did not affect me. That has been my privilege.

When it comes to data, I need look no further than my own state. Minnesota consistently ranks high in national studies for quality of life, health, education and employment—if you are white. Minnesota also consistently ranks high in racial disparities. The gaps in education, income, home ownership and health between “white” people and “people of color” is stark.

In 2016, the Metropolitan Council published a paper, RACE AND ETHNICITY MATTER FOR ECONOMIC SUCCESS AND OPPORTUNITY that details these disparities. I encourage you to look at the report and its sobering conclusions.

Looking at data and listening to people have motivated me to learn more and do my part to dismantle institutional, cultural, systematic racism. I want to help create a workplace that values every employee and provides equal opportunities, regardless of one’s skin color or background. I want to live in a nation that lives up to its promises of freedom and justice, where every child and adult feels valued, and has the opportunity to realize her or his dreams, just as was possible for my white colleague, and for me.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

White Privilege

I recently had an insightful conversation at work with a white colleague. We had just attended a diversity training. Unlike me, who grew up in the suburbs, my colleague grew up “dirt poor” and does not know how to relate to the concept of “white privilege.”

My colleague worked very hard to create a prosperous life, which is a source of pride, imbedded in gratitude that we live in a country where hard work can move someone from “rags to riches.” This is America’s story of hope and promise to those who work hard.

Hard work, however, is only half the story. The other half is opportunity. Without opportunity, hard work does not lead to financial success, let alone, wealth. White privilege, as I understand it, is recognizing that the opportunity deck is stacked in favor of those who are classified as racially “white.” Those who are not considered “white” face a myriad of barriers that my colleague and I did not have to overcome.

I have come to understand my own “white privilege” by looking at the data and listening to people who have struggled against barriers because of the color of their skin. I have come to see the patterns that value white over non-white people in our social, economic, political and cultural systems and institutions, creating an unfair playing field, particularly for African Americans and American Indians. For so many years I did not see these dynamics because they did not affect me. That has been my privilege.

When it comes to data, I need look no further than my own state. Minnesota consistently ranks high in national studies for quality of life, health, education and employment—if you are white. Minnesota also consistently ranks high in racial disparities. The gaps in education, income, home ownership and health between “white” people and “people of color” is stark.

In 2016, the Metropolitan Council published a paper, RACE AND ETHNICITY MATTER FOR ECONOMIC SUCCESS AND OPPORTUNITY that details these disparities. I encourage you to look at the report and its sobering conclusions.

Looking at data and listening to people have motivated me to learn more and do my part to dismantle institutional, cultural, systematic racism. I want to help create a workplace that values every employee and provides equal opportunities, regardless of one’s skin color or background. I want to live in a nation that lives up to its promises of freedom and justice, where every child and adult feels valued, and has the opportunity to realize her or his dreams, just as was possible for my white colleague, and for me.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Oh, Oh! What Did I Do Wrong Now?

I was recently asked what I like about working where I work. I responded, “I don’t worry  about getting in trouble for doing my job.” I don’t lay awake at night second-guessing my every action, wondering whether I will be “talked to” about how I did this or that wrong, or didn’t consider all of the implications, or include the right people, or didn’t get permission first—all with a parental tone with the message that I messed up—again!

I thought back on all the jobs and bosses I have had over the years and saw the pattern. The jobs I most disliked (even if I liked the work), had a common element—a constant feeling of dread that someone would judge me, my words or my actions, and I would have no opportunity to defend myself, lest I be considered “insubordinate.”

Constant correcting causes employee disengagement. Why work hard, invest your energy and passion if it is constantly criticized? When people feel judged at every turn, they have little inclination to make decisions, act, take risks, or throw out creative ideas.

Frequent criticism, or as we like to say in management, “employee coaching,” is too often used to keep power dynamics in favor of those who have the most, feeding their egos and reinforcing their sense of superiority, but it is not good for employees, morale, the organization or the bottom line.

This is not to say all coaching is bad. If it comes from a place of generosity and it is allowed/encouraged both directions (up and down), feedback can be very powerful, leading to growth and confidence.

One of my favorite bosses, Mary, was a master of positive coaching. I was never afraid when she asked me to come to her office, or when it was time for my annual review.

One of Mary’s favorite lines was, “Assume good intentions” and she practiced what she preached. She always assumed my intentions were good and our work goals were aligned. She encouraged me to take risks and bring my full self at work.

When Mary offered me feedback it was in the form of insights or options for me to consider. “Here is another way to think about that” or “In my experiences, this is what I have observed” or “You might consider checking this out” or “What you are proposing might have these untended consequence.”

Mary was affirming and supportive. She trusted me and believed in me, which motivated me to work harder and engage more. She also asked me for my feedback on how she could be more effective. Our relationship was mutually respectful and beneficial.

I wish everyone could have a boss like Mary. I wish every boss would assume good intentions. Work would be so much more engaging and fun!

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Competition and Collaboration

Everyone loves a good competition, and hates a bad one. Better to have not played at all than to have participated in an unfair contest.

But what makes for good competition? Clear goals, an agreed upon field of play, reasonable rules that are documented and fairly enforced, and evenly matched contestants. Good competitions have structural integrity.

How many times have you been part of a work team that lacked structural integrity? There are no clear goals, no common understanding of what is in or out of bounds, no documented rules, or, worse, rules that change in the middle of the game, and no or unfair enforcement of the rules.

Good competitions also have collaboration—working together toward common goals. In team sports, we see collaboration in the magic that happens when the team’s goals are valued over individual accomplishments. This can only happen when players trusts each other’s intentions and skills, and are willing to give their all for their teammates. Good collaborations have behavioral integrity.

How many times have you been part of a work team that is supposed to be collaborative but lacks behavioral integrity? Members may not believe in the goals, or trust each other’s intentions. Required skills of some members may be lacking, so the “stars” are often expected to “carry” the others.

Great leaders, like great coaches, create environments and build teams that have both structural and behavioral integrity. They are responsible for the framework, ensure that required skill sets exist to enable trust, do not change the goals or rules in the middle of the engagement and do not generally enter the field of play.

Excellent leaders may set up some healthy internal competition but not at the expense of collaboration. They don’t undermine the team by pitting people against each other but often frame competition within the team against an external measure of time, performance or quality. At work, it is less, “Can we do better than them?” and more, “Can we do better than we did last time?”

Fortunately, you don’t have to be a supervisor or manager to be an excellent leader. Leadership occurs on all levels. Team members can set up the structural and behavioral integrity required to be a high functioning, collaborative teams..

For more insights about how to be an excellent leader at any level, see my book, Management Culture at mgmtculture.com or on Amazon.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment